metal-steffi

To be accepted To be welcomed When settling for bare minimum Is no option Impossible it feels to receive your dreams In a fake devoured society that is today.

I crave for belonging A heart that gives reason; Hope and laughter. For the happiness ever after.

I'm in a big black hole digging my own grave. Suffocating in my reality. Shame crawls in as my heart is breaking with disbelieve. What once was, where has it gone?

Why are they all the same? Why are they nice only until they get what they want? Don't they have a heart? A heart beating; some emotion. I'm broken. Hard to believe. Long term promises. Broken. Without care. Only dismay. Disappointment. Why oh why. Do I keep making Same old mistakes.... Where is my prince now? Nowhere to be seen; Or found. All. Alone.

Switched on or off True or False Bit and byte, It's our daily fight. Programming in C# Debugging ASP.NET Monitors, Motherboards All hardware faults. Screaming faces Angry bosses All complaining their PC losses. All we do, we try to please And for this We charge minimum fees.

In front of my mirror, naked A reflection of pictures on my wall hanging there staring at me, smiling at me. I wonder about the days gone by about the good times about my family, friends moving out and coming into my life. I wonder how innocent I was how adventurous I was about all the activities and fun I was part of, how it all disappeared. In front of my mirror, naked A reflection of my old self my scars from the car accident my crow's feet, my wrinkles.

I am not happy I am not fine Mad about people, My personal life. Everything was perfect But now I have doubt What shall I do? Do I want out? Life is challenging Everyone, demanding I want to forget They keep bringing it back. Little they know they're making it worse I don't want pity I don't want help. I've always been a lone wolf Deal things on my own So please understand... I wanna be alone.

What lies inside, is what matters Or so they say... Our beauty fades, but who we are stays. Our lies and secrets, buried, hidden, from the ones we love. Are we monsters? We pray - They will not find out; They will understand us They will forgive our reasons when we're on our death-bed. In the meantime As our heart is thumping blood We live our adventures, Our forced smiles will come out (while we pretend, everything is alright) the mysteries, the darkest secrets stored within.

Young, careless and free Is what I long to be. I am sixty-five fed up of being alive. Eager for company - 'No, I'm not a loony!' Trying to persuade my family As not to abandon me. Waiting to be fed Hanging by a thread Sitting in the same old rooms As my ilness blooms. Every night I pray - What I wouldn't pay! To get back my faith... And peacefully die in bed.

Words remain unspoken Thoughts are buried Dreams are driven into the abyss of Neverland... Standing still - sick and tired of your unfulfilled promises Breaking my heart into a million and one pieces: Which you try to weave together Unsuccessfully. Helplessly. Just like a puzzled jigsaw - Trial and error waiting for my guidance only I deserve better: I have feelings.